We are social beings and yes we need people but not all the people in our life are going to be able to understand the journey we are in. I am not much of a people person but that does not mean I don’t like or need anyone around me. I just need the right people. I believe in quality over quantity with regard to anything and everything in life even people.
I have learned to stop associating with people who were designed for moments that has already happened and those who are not a part of my journey anymore. One of the main reason that keeps us stuck in the past is who we associate with. Some people in our past are unqualified to go with us into our future. The problem is we keep trying to drag along people who don’t fit into the new season of our life just because we feel bad or we don’t want them to not like us. We live a life that is less than our calling just to keep the association that is already dead. And that is such an expensive price to pay for the future God has for us. The dead relationships we carry around stress and weary us.
There are People in our past that we need to let go. Today I am writing about how , why and some lessons I have learned along the way regarding relationships.
Disclaimer: These are my personal views so you need not agree with me. I am not by means an expert in relationship. These are just few things I have learned along the way.
- The very first thing is to understand the three words “it is over “ very clearly. Period! Obviously you are not going to like these words because no relationship is easy to just break but trust me you will be better off with some people moving out of your life. I have had people in my life (some even good friends) that I had to let go of and declare these three words over our relationship. I think it is healthy to do so for certain people. I don’t mean these are bad people but it’s just that they no longer fit in the new season of our life. If we keep trying to hold on to these people they are going to drag us down and keep us from our desiny. So get these three word clear and loud “IT IS OVER”.
- No more “just in case” relationships. Be it people or stuff I have learned to never hold onto anything or anyone for just in case reasons. Do you have some people in your life that you are holding on to just in case you need them someday? I have learned that just in case people are the ones who are not healthy for us but we are not willing to say goodbye just because we might need them someday. That’s such a lame and self-fish reason to hang onto someone. The just in case people only occupy unnecessary space in our life. Unless we let them go we can’t make room for people who are right for us. There were many things I used to keep with me for just in case reason and I hardly used those stuff but ultimately those stuff started becoming burden to me so I had to throw them off. But only if I would have gotten rid of them in the beginning I would not have had to go through that burdensome period. Whenever I needed anything or people God has always provide and so I have learned not to hold onto things or people who are not in alignment with my life.
- Don’t check on them. This is one major mistake many people make especially when it comes to relationships that’s dead and gone. I have been guilty of this mistake myself but I have learned that checking on people who are not part of my life anymore is just like carrying a dead body around. It is going to do me no good except for being a burden and after sometime it gets stinky too. So never ever check on people you are no longer in relationship with. You don’t have to know about them anymore. My life completely transformed once I stopped checking on people I am no longer in relationship with. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal but trust me it seriously is. I have been there and done that and I can tell you that your life will be so much better once you stop checking on them.
- They cannot go where you are going. You have to understand that the reason you are no longer in relationship with some people is because they are not heading in the direction you are. Your Destiny is not tied to them and as long as you keep holding on to these people you will not be able to go where you are headed and you are going to be stuck at a point in life without you even realizing that. Where are you in life today? I hope you are not stuck on a date in the past. Always remember the reason some people will be taken out of your life is because they will not be able to celebrate where are going in life. And if they are not taken out of your life they are going to manipulate you to pause at a point in life. So always remember some people will have to be left behind beacuse the direction you are heading towards is not their direction and you can’t and shouldn’t persuade everyone to head in the direction of your destiny. We all have different directions to go so let them go on their direction and you go on yours.
- Be grateful for the isolation. Isolation is a blessing because you need a lot of time for yourself to be prepared for a higher level. If you study very successful people you will notice that they are also the people who had to walk in isolation to get wherever they are in life. My introvert nature I thought was something I need to work on but now I am grateful that I am an introvert. I feel so blessed to have this nature. I used to envy people who were extroverts but now I would not trade my introvert nature for anything. It has helped me get to know myself better. I get time to do the things that I would otherwise would have had no time for. This blog is one of the examples of the outcome of my introvert nature. In order to get to your future it is going to require some isolation and it should never bother you. I would rather be alone than be with some people that mean no good. All I need to know is that I am heading in the right direction and that is all that matters.
- Not everybody that parties with you celebrates you. There are some people in our life and all they want to do is party. There is a difference between a party and a celebration. Just because they invited you to hang out does not mean they are excited about where you are going. Some will keep you partying in the past so that you don’t get to see your future. Therefore you must be careful who you hang out with and every party is not celebration. I come across people who just wants to party with me but they don’t really want to celebrate me and I always maintain good distance from these people. I am not a party person but I am always in for celebration. A celebration can happen even when you are all by yourself. I like quite places and fewer people but that doesn’t mean I don’t have or like having fun. I am celebrating life all the time and that is part of my nature that is unstoppable. I don’t need many people to celebrate I can do that all by my self also but of course I appreciate few good company. I do have very wonderful people in my life who I can celebrate with and these are the people who celebrate me and I celebrate them. So be careful not to confuse people who wants to party with you and people who celebrates you. You need people who celebrates you but you will be better off without people who only wants to party with you.
When God declares something is over you got to walk away. Now I don’t mean you got to start questioning every relationship. I am sure you have great people in your life and you should never take them for granted. You got to celebrate them and be grateful for their presence in your life. The people who bring out the best in you and those who stand by you through everything are your blessings so you better keep holding unto them and appreciate them. God has given us all the wisdom to differentiate between the right and the wrong so use your God-given wisdom to know who all are right people for you and who all are not. And yes no one other than you yourself should make that judgement. If someone is right for you, you know that and if someone isn’t you know that too very well. You have all the answers but you are just too scared to listen to yourself. You will have to listen to the small faint voice if you want to live your best life. Do yourself a favor and recognize the people in your life.
Now if you have something to add onto anything I have mentioned here I would love to hear from you. Do you have people who only wants to party with you but does not clebrate you? Are you able to recognise the people who celebrates you or do you take them for granted?