The Blessing in walking alone.

I keep getting this question ” why are you still single?”

So in today’s post I am going to talk about the “why?” and also why I am in love with the journey I am on.

I am not against marriages instead I totally believe they are the most beautiful relationship. I just don’t understand why not being married by certain age is considered as an “issue”. Well if someone wants to get married and will be happier married then I guess that makes sense but for someone who is equally happy being single makes perfect sense to stay single.

So, Yes I am 30 and single and I don’t believe in having to have married by certain age.  I come across these “experts” who think that the clock is ticking and I feel nothing but sorry for them.  I know many of them mean well but I completely disagree with them. Not everyone who is single is thinking about marriage. Some of us are way too busy working on ourselves and living our lives that we just need the time for ourselves.

Now before I express any my opinions on single hood let me make it clear that I do believe that God has a unique plan for each one of us. You may be just a teenager and already married or you maybe 80 and still single. Irrespective of the category you fit in I know you have every reason to be grateful. You may not be able to understand God’s plan for your life right away but I can tell that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. As for myself  I have a lot to be grateful for being single and I am going to share some of those blessings with you all here.

Not knowing the future isn’t very easy and seems quite daunting but I do trust in the one who created me and I have full faith in His plan for my life. When you have a faith so strong there is no room for worry.

Like any little girl I grew up admiring fairy tale princesses and the message from every fairy tale was “get married and live happily ever after.” But it is not just as children even as grown ups we keep hearing them in all the novels and the movies. I also remember the fairy tale stories conveying the message that every girl is going to have a miserable life until her hero makes an entry in her life and rescues her. But not every girl/woman is waiting for someone to rescue her. I am not bothered by the people who try to sell these messages but it’s sad that we buy those messages. In my naivety I did also buy the messages from the fairy tales but the moment I started to understand life to some extent I realized that the stories I have heard or read as a little girl weren’t necessarily my story. So does that mean my life is not beautiful? Of course not! My life is as beautiful as it can be and at 30 I am the happiest, healthiest and the most content than I have ever been.

In this season of my life living single life is my happily ever after. And I am in no way saying that I am never going to get married or find the love of my life. He may or may not be out there but until he arrives my happily ever after is going to be my life as a single woman. I have no time for anyone who wants to “just date” because I don’t have time to waste on someone who is not my husband. And I know there are many people who like to “just date” and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that if you believe in dating but I that’s not me. May be I am not that “cool” or that I am too old school but I don’t have the kind of time to waste on any random person for such an important area of my life.

Of course I pray for my future husband and I ask God to give me a good husband but if I am not a good faithful wife how dare I ask for a good faithful husband? So I try to be faithful to my future husband and pray that he remain faithful to me. We don’t know each other yet but God knows the two of us and until we are prepared He is going to keep us away from each other. He will only bring us together if we both are prepared for each other.  I am grateful that God is making me wait. I am going to wait as long as He thinks I should because I am being prepared and I am in love with this season of preparation. I love the person I am becoming in the process.

So if you have been complaining or are tired of waiting please do ask yourself if you are really prepared for whatever you are asking for.

Everywhere we look to or listen to we hardly get to hear about living single and loving it. So this is my attempt to let the single people know that embracing single life is such a blessing.

Yes I don’t go for romantic candle light dinners with a guy but I do go on beautiful dates with myself, I don’t have someone to give me red roses but I get beautiful gifts from myself, I don’t have children to take care of but I am taking the best care of myself so that I will be a good mother when I become one and many a times I had to sacrifice my preferences for the convenience of my married colleagues but I get the freedom to choose how I use my time.

There are all these minor stuff that may seem like disadvantage for a single person but I am not a worrier for minor stuff and I hope you are not too. I believe my destiny is too great to get stuck with minor problems.

No doubt marriages are beautiful and I have witnessed blessed marriages but I am not qualified to talk about marriages. But as a single woman I can confidently express my views on how beautiful the season of single hood is. I am totally in love with this season of being single.

It is sad but  I have also come across many frustrated single women. If you are frustrated waiting for a season to get over or for a new season to arrive then the most probable reason could be because  you lack vision, mission and purpose for your life. I am a single woman and for the season I am in I would not trade it for anything. I am not waiting for a man to come and rescue me instead I am in search for the upgraded version of the vision and the purpose of my life.

The vision I have for my life in this season keeps me excited and driven. I am also totally in peace with the fact that not everybody will be able to understand that.

There are many things I love to do. Like I love writing and the reason I put my work out in public for anyone to access is because I have a vision and a purpose. If you are someone who has been following me and reading my posts then you know that my goal is always to inspire you. I definitely have no writing skills but I have a desire to be a channel of blessing. Even if I can make a tiny impact in one person’s life I would continue to write and publish. I am grateful that many of you (my readers) have let me know how you have been inspired by my writings. Thank you!

Your vision can be as simple as mine but you got to have one. You need not be the best but the way you do what you do will be unique from what everyone else does. The way someone can be influenced by your life will be unique and if you choose not to do it just because you are not the best person for the job then the impact you could have made in that individual’s life will not take place.

Have some vision for your life. Be the girl or the boy, the man or the woman who lives with vision and purpose. Get excited and passionate about the vision that you have and allow that to drive you daily. Live the kind of legacy behind that will make difference in people’s life. I hope that if you disappear from the earth right now there will be people who will be grateful that you lived.

When you have vision and purpose for your life you do not have the time to worry about the minor things of life. You are too busy living your life that you have no time even for frustration.

I am grateful for the season I am in . This is exactly where I am supposed to be and I wouldn’t change it for anything. There are so many blessings attached to my single hood and so I am not going sit around being ungrateful. I have learned that there is beauty in every season. Celebrate the season of life you are in because you never know how long it will last. Celebrate where you are right now and trust me if you leave everything in God’s hand He will do amazing things in your life.

 

with love,

the single woman

Tshering.

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